Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Reno, NV and God's faithfulness

So last week was the most horrible week I've had in such a long time, top 3 in worst weeks ever. Anyway, at the end of the week I had a trip planned to go to Reno, NV with the family and that is what I was so excited for all week, one event that was keeping my chin up. One thing I kept repeating to myself was "God is good". He is so Good and this is going to be a story of His glory.

My story begins on Saturday morning when I sent a text to my friend who was going to be joining me, and she replied back informing she was not going to be able to attend, needless to say I was quite upset.

On the way down (or up I guess) to Reno the point of the entire trip is to maintain a buzz, now I was not too happy with the swaying to and fro of the bus so I decided to refrain. Once we got there I was a little peeved with my mother from sitting next to her for the entire trip. I mean who can blame me, literally rubbing and bumping elbows for three to four hours with anyone would be a little much. I just needed a break.

Once we arrived at the hotel I wandered around in the shop for a bit, headed over to the big chair and just spent some time taking in all that is sparkly in the Silver Legacy hotel. It was so glittery! After about 20 minutes of milling around our rooms were ready. Everyone was getting rooms starting with 27 or 33... My room was 1974... That means mine was in a completely different tower, at least 8 floors below anyone that I knew. I was scared. I cried, a lot. I was at the end of my rope and this is the little thing that made me just loose grip and slip off. I am not proud of it, but I was being a big brat. I really wanted my room to be changed, remembered my parents room number went and talked with them, visited the other people in the group, continued to cry about it and thought that I really just needed a psalm. I pull out my bible and flip to one that was short:

Psalm 52
To the Chief Musician. A Contemplation[a] of David when Doeg the Edomite went and told Saul, and said to him, “David has gone to the house of Ahimelech.”
1 Why do you boast in evil, O mighty man?
The goodness of God endures continually.
2 Your tongue devises destruction,
Like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.
3 You love evil more than good,
Lying rather than speaking righteousness. Selah
4 You love all devouring words,
You deceitful tongue.

5 God shall likewise destroy you forever;
He shall take you away, and pluck you out of your dwelling place,
And uproot you from the land of the living. Selah
6 The righteous also shall see and fear,
And shall laugh at him, saying,
7 “Here is the man who did not make God his strength,
But trusted in the abundance of his riches,
And strengthened himself in his wickedness.”

8 But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;
I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.
9 I will praise You forever,
Because You have done it;
And in the presence of Your saints
I will wait on Your name, for it is good.

I was calmed, but could not stop crying. I thought that going back to my room to weep in solitude would be a good idea. I walk in and realize that the curtains are open go and lie on the bed by the window and just look out. My view was this: Downtown Reno, the surrounding hills and the sky, filled with these humongous gray clouds that overpowered everything else in my sight. Just then I remembered a conversation that Cryn and I had the day before. We spoke about how when she is having a hard time she looks at the clouds and realizes how little she is and how large God is. I sat there on my bed, weeping, singing "Praise God form whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below, Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts, Praise Father Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Once I calmed down a little I realized how much of a resemblance it was to the psalm 121 where it says:I will lift up my eyes to the hills- From whence comes my help? My help comes from the LORD, Who made heaven and earth. (vv1-2) I remember someone talking about how this speaks of the idols to the pagan gods that were on the top of the hills and how the psalmist looked there and acknowledges that his help comes from the heavens NOT from the idols of baal that the people surrounding him were worshiping.

I was reminded that no matter how silly or insignificant the trial is, the Lord has a plan for it. He does not take joy in our suffering, just as a father or mother does not take joy in spanking a child yet it must be done to train a child up in the ways that he may go.

I am so thankful for God and His faithfulness.

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.
And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel, and I will bless them
Numbers 6: 24-27

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Fashion and am update

First and foremost an update on my last blog: The Lord has definitely been softening my heart to the people I have had a hard time loving how Christ loved. He is teaching me how to yearn to love others, not just want and try to love them, but to truly desire to serve and love them through the strength of the Holy Spirit. This is not going to be a one timer or a quick lesson to learn, but I continue to hope and pray that I am a quick study and I understand this in my heart soon. I have been praying for these people and have been treating them no different then I would anyone else and go figure it's starting to work! I'll continue to update until there is no other news on this, but for now this is all I've got for where I'm at.

On to the rest:

I think I may be stuck fashion-wise. I want to get more pieces that represent me in a way that I see myself and how I want others to see me, but you see I am embarking on a quest, if you will, of losing 15 lbs SO my dilemma is that I do not want to purchase clothes now, and have them either taken or just give them away in when I do finish losing the weight. I may have to indulge in some thrift store awesome-ness until I am at my goal.

I really want to have this sort of shabby chic/modern with a retro twist look about me, but I am not quite sure how to accomplish that. I have been searching for pieces that encompass all of those things yet are not too out of my price range. It seems to be more time consuming and labor-intensive then I thought. I wish I had the money to get a personal shopper and stylist... Maybe I'll win at the penny slots while in Reno this weekend and prove Cryn wrong. Knowing the odds and my luck, she will be right and I will loose ten bucks. Ha.