12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord who has enabled me, because He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry, 13 although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. 14 And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 15 This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. 16 However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. 17 Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise,[a]be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy 1:12-17
I in no way want to compare myself with the workd that the Apostle Paul did through the strength and guidance of the Holy Spirit, but I feel as though I can identify with this verse so well. Many times throughout the day I feel as though I am the biggest sinner of them all. I feel ashamed. Every moment I know there is only one way that I can make it though the day, and that is the strength that Christ gives me through the Holy Spirit. I think I am going through a season where the pride I have in things that I hold dear to me is being broken down so that through my life God can be glorified. I want people to look at me and think 'That girl loves Jesus!'
About two weeks ago I started praying that God would Glorify Himself through me. In the last week of so God has opened my heart more and it has been much easier for me to remember to read my bible, to pray diligently and wholeheartedly, to speak up about Jesus and to want to do ministry work again. I am so happy that I have that desire back, and I give that triumph to GOD completely. I know that this work in me is not completed, but I know God is faithful and He will complete this work He has started "being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" Phillipians 1:6.
Peace to you and the love of Jesus Christ. Amen.