Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Weight-y Issues

"Never confuse fashion and style. Fashion relies on unattainable looks on women with unrealistic bodies. Style is about utilizing the best aspects of you."
-          Stacy London, What Not To Wear

Today I was thinking about my body and what I don’t like about it. Those are such awful thoughts. I am here, sitting thinking obsessing about my larger then “normal” mid-section and BOOM it hits me : “I am judging myself off of someone else’s standards and not God’s standards”. God cares most about the life that I life, not the fact that I can’t wear a slinky silk dress because I don’t have rock hard abs. I obsess over by body because of clothing and the body is MORE then clothing (and life is more then food). I have the  body that the Lord gave me and it is not perfect, but it is the one that I was given. The "perfect" image of myself in my head honestly doesn’t look ANYHTING like my real body. I would probably have to be about 4” taller (and who can add a single cubit to his stature by worrying) and about 45 lbs less. Neither of those things are going to happen.

After a while I took a break from work and was reading This Blog I came across the quote above. I realized that the idea that I have in my head is from years of coveting fashion (something that is not attainable by the average person- only the ones with a very specific body type) and not cultivating style (something that is attainable since I base it off of my body). I am never going to be 5’9” and 100 lbs (that would be WAY to thin, I’m exaggerating here) heck I’ll never be 5’5” (my actual height) and 100 lbs! And I might never want to be able to run 10 miles, and that’s going to be okay. The Lord knows what my body looks like and He knew what it would look like when He knit me together in my mother's womb. He knew before anyone else and I am going to take comfort in that. Today I give my insecurities about my tummy to the Lord.

Maybe by next year I'll be over this silliness and feel confidant enough to wear a bikini...

Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust.
 O my soul, you have said to the LORD,
         “You are my Lord,
         My goodness is nothing apart from You.”
 As for the saints who are on the earth,
         “They are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”
 Their sorrows shall be multiplied who hasten after another god;
         Their drink offerings of blood I will not offer,
         Nor take up their names on my lips.
 O LORD, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
         You maintain my lot.
 The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
         Yes, I have a good inheritance.
 I will bless the LORD who has given me counsel;
         My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.
 I have set the LORD always before me;
         Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.
 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices;
         My flesh also will rest in hope.
 For You will not leave my soul in Sheol,
         Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption.
 You will show me the path of life;
         In Your presence is fullness of joy;
         At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16; A psalm of David {NKJV}


justinhong said...

Good thoughts Bethany!

I just wanted to say though, that if you wanted to you could totally run 10 miles. It doesn't matter how big or small you are, 10 miles is completely attainable for anyone (with a relatively healthy body and working legs!) :) And you have a BUNCH of people at Regen who would love to train with you. Haha, I know this is beside the point, but I didn't like reading you say that you couldn't "ever" run 10 miles. :P

me said...

Bethany, I love you.

Gregggg said...

You ARE perfect. I know: I was in on making you, and my job was quality control. You are WILDLY beautiful. If I do say so myself. ;^)

Love, Dad

Ingrid said...

You are amazing, Bethany. I appreciate your transparency. I think that only when we are on heaven with our perfect glorified bodies will we fully realize how much energy we wasted worrying about the imperfection of our earthly ones (myself included!!). Thanks for putting things in perspective.