Friday, May 25, 2012

Learning How to Love... Again.

“In this is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Sin to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, If God so loved us we also ought to love one another”. 1 John 4:10-11

I am hard hearted.

I am stubborn.

I am a brat.

I am totally selfish.

I love winning and I hate losing so I just don’t play games which I tend to lose. When I do lose I feel totally defeated and turn into a sulking, sore loser.

I get jealous when people pay attention to others or so special things for others and not me. I think I deserve more than I have.

When I do not have myself in check (a.k.a. when I’m just “being me”) I am totally ungrateful.

I’ve been realizing how much of a brat that I am lately and I don’t like the ugliness that I see.

Two Thursdays ago in a bible study with some of my friends in Oakland I challenged myself to pray and read my bible consistently every morning and every night before bed. My objective: to spend quality time with God. I wanted to grow our relationship, let Him speak into my life and start listening to the Spirit rather than all the junk that I’ve got going on up in my mind.

The outcome: In my reading a few nights ago I came upon this verse. Well, this whole chapter actually. The entire chapter crept up on my heart and has made itself cozy all up in there.

I have been thinking about the case that the verse above makes for a few days now: love one another because Jesus died to be the propitiation for our sins because He loved us. I cannot argue my way out of this. I cannot make this into something that won’t change me or my heart.

Something’s already started to change and move. Jesus is doing something to make me a better lover -no, dad not like that. What I mean is that I am learning to love the way that Jesus wants me to- unselfishly with a heart motivated not by what I want to get rather by the love that He displayed for us.

As I repent I take comfort in the writings of the apostle Paul “Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 3:17-18

As the Lord removes this veil of sin from my face I am excited be begin seeing Him more clearly. I am excited to re-learn how to love. I am excited to gain liberty through the Spirit.